20 Ways To Let Go And Live

by | Jun 21, 2021 | Motivation, Personal Development | 0 comments

Protected by Copyscape
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure” – Oprah

No matter how much we try, but we cannot change our past. The only thing we can control is our present and our future.

We do pretty well for most of our lives. Still, somewhere along the way, we also carry the baggage of self-limiting beliefs, past mistakes, anger and resentment, and sometimes toxic people and relationships.

We apply false self-limiting beliefs labels on ourselves, limiting our growth and full potential. We relive past mistakes in our heads over and over again to the point it causes frustration.

If that was not enough, we hold on to anger and resentment (whether with the people, situation, or ourselves), leading us down to more serious problems related to health, such as high blood pressure and diabetes.

And toxic people and relationships in our lives make us someone we are not, to the point we lose our own identity.

Letting go may not be an easy task, but I will take a chance to help you look at things from a different perspective and potentially help you let go.

Let Go of Self-Limiting Beliefs

1. Change inner conversations – Make a note of your inner conversations. Are they predominantly positive conversations or negative conversations?

For example, if you spill something by mistake, do you instantly tell yourself, “I am always clumsy!”?

If you make an obvious mistake on the exam, do you instantly tell yourself, “I am so stupid!! What is wrong with me?”

Hmm, now, in my view, such conversations are not helping you; instead, they are hurting you.

When you notice yourself having a negative inner conversation, switch it over instantly with a positive conversation. But you have to let go of negative conversations as much as you can.

2. Change self-limiting thoughts – “Whether you think you can or you can’t. You’re right.” – Henry Ford

Everything in the Universe comprises opposites. If there is up, then there is down. If it is right, then there is wrong. If there is happiness, and there is sadness. If there is poverty, then there is wealth.

We have a choice to either have self-limiting thoughts or unrestricted thoughts.

Make a note of self-limiting thoughts and replace them because self-limiting thoughts will take you only in one direction (down), whereas unrestricted positive thoughts will take you in the opposite direction (up).

3. Create new beliefs – there is a difference between thoughts and beliefs. Thoughts are the result of beliefs.

Beliefs are repetitive conditioning of the same thoughts. Now, what do I mean by that?

Remember point #1? If I keep saying to myself, “I am so stupid!” “Why do I always make stupid mistakes?” “No wonder people think I am stupid!” What do you think this repetition of thoughts will do?

It will create my reality. Hence, my belief! All of this happens at a subconscious level. That is why some things may have happened to us in our childhood (when our mind was vulnerable to accepting anything), but we grew up making those things our reality (which sometimes are grossly false).

Let go of false beliefs and create new ones.

4. Affirm new beliefs – if repeatedly affirming false beliefs got you where you did not want to be, then do the opposites.

Take a small card and write down your new belief. It can be anything. Some of the examples can be like, “I am worthy of love!” “I am confident!” “I am smart!”

Read this affirmation as many times as you can throughout the day to replace your old negative belief with a new one.

Remember, you did not create a negative belief for yourself in just one day. It was a repetition over a while. So, it is evident that creating new beliefs will take time, repetition, and, most of all, perseverance.

5. Meditate with new beliefs – whenever you find few minutes to yourself, take a deep breath, close your eyes, quiet your mind, and imagine your “new you” as your present self.

Meditation does not have to be 30 minutes to an hour-long. It can be as short as 5 minutes. However, when you are meditating, stay focused. Avoid drifting away in the past or on all the things pending on your schedule for the day.

Become selfish and take away several few minutes to create a new you. You are worth it!

Let Go of Past Mistakes

6. Stop Obsessive thoughts – Stop replaying past mistakes inside your head over and over again. It is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

Your mind cannot tell the difference between imagination or reality. For example, suppose we keep playing negative thoughts inside our heads. In that case, our mind thinks it is happening right now and releases the chemical inside your body that negatively affects you and eventually makes you sick.

The idea mentioned above is Joe Dispenza’s. So, when you find yourself having obsessive thoughts, head over to YouTube and watch one of his videos, and you will know what I mean.

7. Take inventory of past achievements rather than past mistakes – Now, we have not ONLY made mistakes in our life. Is it?

Instead of focusing on past mistakes, how about focusing on past achievements?

Focusing on your achievements will give you self-confidence and courage to move on in the right direction.

Learn how to let go of the past and hold on to your achievements.

8. List things learned from past mistakes – With every mistake comes a lesson. I truly believe that! Now either we can look at a cup as half empty or half full. The choice is ours.

What did you learn from your past mistakes? I know one of my mistakes was deciding to write a blog back in 2014. However, “self-limiting thoughts” set in, and I put my dream aside until now. That is seven years later!!!

Do you know how much time I lost? Maybe all these years, I could have been sharing my words of wisdom and knowledge and help someone! Perhaps I could have helped someone turn his/her life around for the better.

I learned from my past mistakes that I should have faced my fear head-on and taken action anyway. What is the worst it could have happened? Of course, I would have lost some of my time, but that would have been way much better than where I am (not closer to my goal).

Now I can sit here and cuss myself on missing those seven years or dust myself off and start where I am now.

Because in the future, I want to remember my success, not my mistakes!

9. Stop the temptation of going old ways again – Even now and then, when the doubt sips in, I feel the temptation of going old ways again.

It is easy to go back to our comfort zone because we humans are always in a survival mode. If something feels like a threat to us, then we start looking for a safe place.

This is where you need to know how badly you want something. If the desire is strong, you will keep moving forward even though there are roadblocks along the way.

10. Be grateful for your past mistakes – this point is connected to point #7. Be genuinely thankful for your past mistakes because they have helped you grow and mature.

If you made mistakes of hanging around with the wrong people for a long time, then be grateful for that because now you can differentiate between “wrong people” and “right people” for you.

If eating unhealthy and not exercising has caused some kind of disease in your body, be grateful for that, because now you have learned the importance of eating healthy and how sometimes it can reverse some of the diseases.

Let go of mistakes that don’t serve you well in life.

Let Go of Anger and Resentment

11. Find the reason for anger and resentment – it is vital that before we resolve any issue, we find its cause first.

Find out if the reason for your anger and resentment is huge or small. Remember defining the reasons as big or small is subjective and is different for everyone.

Sometimes, we realize that the anger and resentment we hold are not reasonable. And sometimes, some anger and bitterness are not even worth our time and energy.

12. Resolve if possible – holding anger will not do anyone any good. Mainly, it is not going to do you any good.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

If there is room to talk with the person you hold anger with, approach that person and talk it out.

It does not mean you have to accept that person back in your life and repeat the whole cycle, but it helps both you and the other person move forward with a clean heart.

If all fails, then let go!

13. Cry It Out – I remember when I lost my daughter back in 2008, I was so consumed with anger. I was angry with myself, with the people around me, with the Universe itself!

But do you know what helped? Instead of suppressing my anger, I cried out every time I felt the anger.

Not only it made me a stronger person, but it helped me let go of the anger and blame.

14. Take Responsibility – “It is easy to see the faults of others, but difficult to see one’s faults. One shows the faults of others like chaff winnowed in the wind, but one conceals one’s faults as a cunning gambler conceals his dice.” – Buddha

Sometimes we become so consumed with our hurt that we tend to forget that we may have been responsible for our pain somewhere along the way.

It is easy to shift blames on others, but it takes courage to take responsibility for our wrongdoing.

We may be correct from our perspective, but if we step in another person’s shoes, does the situation look the same from the other side?

15. Take a walk out in nature – if all fails, then nature is the best healer for our wound.

Take some time and take a walk on the grass barefoot.

Maybe find a place where you can close your eyes and hear the gentle flow of the river or the lake. Then, imagine “that flow” washing away your anger and resentment.

Let Go of Toxic People and Relationships

16. Make a list of people with whom you spend most of your time – “You are the average of five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

It means that you do not need a fortune teller or a globe to tell you what your future will be.

If you want to be successful, then surround yourself with successful people. If you’re going to be healthy, then surround yourself with healthy people. If you’re going to be wealthy, then surround yourself be rich people.

Identify when to let go of toxic people and relationships.

17. Test your “close friends” – I once heard a beautiful lecture by Les Brown, and he said, “How do you know if real or flaky people surround you? Test them!

Call them up and tell them there is a significant event coming up for you, and it would mean a lot to you if they joined you for the event.

If they refuse to come, then kindly thank them and hang up the phone. People who showed up (despite their busy schedule) for your special moment are your well-wisher.”

18. Set boundaries – boundaries in any relationship are necessary. If there are no boundaries, then the relationship becomes imbalanced and eventually suffers the consequences.

“You teach people how to treat you by what you let them get away with.” James Clear

We form a relationship with the other person with the intention that the other person will accept you for who you are, and you will do the same for the other person.

However, as months and years pass and we become attached to the other person, we start lowering our standards just to be liked and loved.

Over time, the relationship becomes imbalanced.

19. Stop losing yourself in a Relationship – being kind and loving is okay but losing yourself in a relationship is not. It is especially true for us women who innately are caring and nurturing.

Sometimes we bend over backward so much in a relationship that we lose our own identity and forget our values.

Remember, if somebody is meant to stay in your life, then he/she will stay. Therefore, you will not have “to work” for it.

And thinking your love and kindness will change other person’s unacceptable behaviors towards you, make the other person a better human, or make them love you, then I am sorry to say that such things rarely happen.

Are you willing to lose yourself in a toxic relationship? Let go of the relationship that is making you toxic as well!

20. Do not be afraid of losing people and starting over – it is easy to stay in a comfort zone and suffer rather than let go and start over, especially when you have invested your time and energy in something or someone.

“When someone isn’t treating you right, no matter how much you love them, you’ve got to love yourself more and walk away.” – Unknown

If the people in your life are not making you a better person or helping you grow, it is time to become a little selfish and let them go. And for some reason, if you cannot let them go, then distant yourself and spend less time around them.

Conclusion

“Let go and let God!” Stop getting in your way. You cannot change the external circumstances. The only thing you have control over is the change within yourself.

Happy Living!

Please leave a comment and share how you let go of things you have no control over in your life!

error: Alert: Content is protected !!
Skip to content